Sometimes you don’t realize how bad a situation is until someone else points it out to you. So hey, if you’re reading this and you’re stuck in a dead-end job, toxic relationship, or family drama — let me point it out to you real quick.
When your happiness, self-esteem, and overall well-being are compromised by a person or situation, I want you to stop putting yourself on the back burner and giving yourself to others in hope of a better tomorrow. Tomorrow is never coming. Every time you think about leaving a toxic situation and doing something for yourself, the toxic situation or person stops you by making you feel selfish. And, with that one manipulative property, selfishness, is why you always choose to wear blinders in the negative situation you are in. However, you are the only one getting hurt in this situation. The very fact that you are allowing said manipulation to happen in hopes of a brighter tomorrow or wanting to keep the peace, actually shows how unselfish you are.
A good example of this theory is our jobs. Many of us can feel manipulated by our jobs, especially toxic ones. Some companies are so evil that they prey on the fears of the poor and weak. Especially if they know you need the job to care for your children and put food on the table. However, fear isn’t their only game, as stated earlier they rely heavily on making you believe you are being selfish. You can give and give to your workplace but the moment you start to see a corporation for who they are or request the respect you deserve, that is when the ropes of manipulation squeeze you tighter. So, When you start to feel those ropes, don’t wait. Take action before you find yourself trapped.
And thankfully the moment you become privy to the toxic situation you are in, you have already taken the first step — realizing it’s all a cycle. And if you’re thinking, “If I can just please them enough, tomorrow they’ll treat me better.” But my dear reader, that never will happen, because that is exactly what they are manipulating, your tomorrow. They know people are holding on to hope. Their so messed up that they might even give you a taste of how it would feel if all your requests were granted. But, soon enough the clouds will block out the sun in that fake tomorrow they have created.
Tomorrow is never coming, and it never will as long as you let someone else control your tomorrows.
You have to take care of yourself today. You need to lose the idea that taking care of your well-being is selfish. I speak from experience. This situation you are in: a toxic workplace, relationship, family, or whatever is holding you back will be the rest of your life unless you leave. It’s your life, not there’s.
At one point I was working for the most toxic company that I believed to ever have existed. They were manipulative, petty, sexist, and I believe downright illegal. Yet, I stayed. I stayed because even though work was bad when I went home it was even worse. Therefore, I just chose the lesser of the two evils, hoping it would get better. Also, please never do that. Don’t trade in one hell for the other. Because what’s worse than one manipulator is two.
I prayed, I cried, and I tried to even adhere to my job’s outrageous demands. Yet, I didn’t understand that a pawn is just a pawn. Tomorrow would come and I would be treated even worse than yesterday. In both situations. You think you are strong enough to carry it, especially when you can see the manipulation, I knew I thought I was. I was going to be the comeback kid. I was going to make everyone sorry that they didn’t treat me right the first time. Yet, you can’t reach the sky in quicksand, and the more you flail around the quicker you sink. So, I cut the rope from one, and thankfully the other snapped and I escaped from both. It’s funny how life works.
This is why I am pleading with you, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TODAY! Do not wait for THEIR tomorrow. It’s never coming. However, there is a tomorrow.
When you leave their playing field and stand on solid ground, the first thing I want you to do is look up. Look at the sky and see how beautiful and peaceful everything is around you when you don’t have to worry about the weight of others dragging you down.
Today is your reset. Today you get to plan your own tomorrow. That toxic job will put you on a treadmill, and work you to the bone while dangling in front of you a false advert for a better life. That abusive relationship you’re in will bring violence to the table the next day and the next. Your family will continue to fight and fall apart and rip you apart with them, even though you are carrying a white flag.
So please open your eyes. I was so afraid to open mine. I was afraid I would fail in finding my tomorrow. The fear of not being good enough and playing in the hands of the manipulators. However, once you let them go, you have already won.
When it comes to a job, no money coming in is scary, but you finally have a clear mind to find and pursue a healthy balanced career. When you leave that relationship, you feel a part of you has died, but you learn that the only person that can make you whole is yourself. As for family, I just want to say it’s okay to leave. Sometimes that’s the best way to show your love and avoid saying things you can never take back.
Never let any narcissistic human being or corporation have power over you and make you live in fear.
Tenacity is found the moment you bravely walk away from situations and people that harm you. The moment you can look at the sky and just laugh without feeling like you are going insane means that you have won. And when you have found your tomorrow and won against the systems of manipulation, I want you to do something that you haven’t done in a while, just breathe.
